Forward, Onward

So, here I  am. I believe I have come to my crossroads, took this path and walking with blindfolds. Everything is becoming extremely difficult lately, that it always crosses my mind if I really am in the path that i really want. On the verge of breaking down, I still seek for air. Gasping. Trying to find my way and catch up with the pace. I feel  like I'm a fish out of the water, or some clown attending a funeral. So many thoughts unorganized up there, I don't know how to start. Or if I did start,  where to pick up. All the smiles and  happy memories  fade away as grime thoughts and frustrations pile up,  creeping up on every sunny window that's left of  the previous days of rainbows and sun-shines and butterflies.

Worse part is, I  feel helpless and alone and bleeding. No one to hold, no one to hold tightly when there's an upcoming loop up ahead this roller-coaster ride. I'm so fragile,  so naive. I feel  like I'm jumping as high as I could but then I the soles of my feet not even hovering an inch. I'm trying to punch the cloud and grab the rainbow.

I do wish there'll be bright light soon. This tunnel has been so dark for quite some time now and I'm growing weary and resentful. It feels like its impossible to slacken everything but I do not want to relent, even though the voices of deterrence are so loud.

Dauntlessness, intrepidity. That's what I should focus on.

Forward and onward. :)